PLEASE and MASTERY

Building mastery and please skills.

Today's post is all about the use of building mastery and please skills. The aim of these skills is to reduce vulnerability to negative emotions. This, like mindfulness has helped me hugely. So give it a whirl if you can! 

States of mind.

There are three states of mind as you see in the Venn diagram on the left. Rational, emotional and wise mind. It is said that individuals with borderline personality disorder/borderline traits are predominantly in emotional mind.  The aim of DBT, using all the skills we are taught is to find our wise mind, finding your wise mind can be a physical sensation, or just knowing something is right/wrong, for example many people go by their 'gut feeling', this is wise mind. 

Please skills.

Below I shall list what the please skills are! 

Treat Physical Illness
Balance Eating
Avoid Mood altering substances
Balance sleep
Get exercise

Physical Illness:

Do you have a medical condition that requires any form of treatment? Do you need to regularly take medication? Do you have a physical health complaint that needs attending to? Have a think about this and see how you could manage your physical health needs.

Balance Eating:

How well do you eat? Too much or too little? What kind of food? Is there an excess of caffeine or sugar in your diet? If you eat too little or too much, you run the risk of becoming deficient in a variety of important vitamins. 

Avoid mood altering substances:

Alcohol and certain drugs can make you more vulnerable to negative emotions. I for one have had issues with low mood after a little too much to drink the night before - not just a hangover! If this is something that's an issue for yourself, is there anywhere you can seek help or any way you could reduce your drug or alcohol intake? 

Balance sleep:

 How much sleep leaves you feeling refreshed? 5-6 hours? Or 8-9? Either way, it's important that you try to achieve this as this too may make you more vulnerable to negative emotions. I know when I'm tired I seem to be less able to deal with every day stresses or dips in my mood. 

I understand not everyone can achieve the sleep they wish for - As I can't always either but here's some tips if you're struggling! 

• Trying a milky drink or herbal tea - nothing containing caffeine,
• Having a relaxing bath before bed,
• Lavender bed spray - has oddly helped me at times,
• Listening to relaxing sounds, such as sounds of the sea or a forest.

Exercise:

Regular exercise is good for you in a variety of ways, it's not only beneficial for the body but the mind too! If you are limited to what you can do, maybe start with a little and see how you go? There are also chair exercises you can do if your mobility isn't fantastic. 

I remember the first time I stepped into a gym, I wasn't massively keen initially but after doing a few things such as speed walking on a treadmill, rowing on a rowing machine and spending some time on an exercise bike, the rush of endorphin's I received was incredible and I felt a sense of accomplishment. 

You don't have to go to the gym, you could perhaps take up walking more or cycling? Swimming or ice skating. The possibilities are endless! 

Build Mastery.

Building mastery is simply doing things in your day to day life that make you feel competent, able and give you a sense of accomplishment. It is doing things you feel you are good at. Are you ready for a new challenge? Learning a new skill? Whether it be a challenge or something you feel you are good at, go for it! You can do it and I believe in you. 

My mastery is being creative, singing and taking on new challenges.

What is yours? Please leave in the comments below. 

Have a lovely day afternoon. 

Peace and love, 

F 

x

Mindfulness

Mindfulness

Currently, I am undergoing a therapy called dialectical behavioural therapy and I wanted to share some of the skills with yourselves :) I know the therapy is said to be for individuals with borderline personality disorder, however it isn't just useful for this condition, I've met others on the course with depression, anxiety and things such as bipolar disorder.

Today's post centres around mindfulness which has been greatly useful for myself and I hope others can reap it's benefits too! 

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is living in the here and now, paying attention to only the present moment, living it and proceeding non-judgementally. If your mind wanders, it isn't out of the ordinary, you just need to try bring yourself back to the present moment. 

Things you can do mindfully!

• Breathing - Mindful breathing even just for a couple of minutes can really help in grounding yourself. 
• Mindful imagery - Such as imagining your thoughts drifting away with the passing clouds, or imagining yourself in a forest. 
• Cleaning - This has helped me countless times, focusing on one task at a time, washing the dishes as if they are something sacred. You can do it in small doses at a time to ease yourself into it, but before I knew it I was mindfully cleaning the whole flat! 
• Observing your surroundings - Especially in beautiful spots, admiring the tree's, watching the light filter through the leaves, the birds chirping and so on.
• Eating - You can also mindfully eat! How many times have you been so hungry that you've rapidly eaten a meal and not taken the opportunity to enjoy it for all it is?

Mindful breathing exercise.

To prepare for this exercise, sit or lay in a comfortable position. You may close your eyes, you may keep them open, it's completely up to you. 

• Bring your attention to your breathing,
• Imagine you have a balloon in your stomach, every time you inhale, the balloon inflates and every time you exhale, the balloon deflates, observe the sensations in your stomach as you inhale and exhale,
• Your mind may wander to other thoughts during this exercise - it's okay, observe these thoughts and bring your attention back to your breathing,
• You may also notice your emotions, physical sensations and sounds - this too, is okay, observe you have noticed these and continue to focus on your breathing,
• Whenever your mind wanders whether it is thoughts, feelings, sensations or sounds going on around you, remind yourself that it's okay, just try bring your attention back to your breathing. You don't have to judge your thoughts, feelings, wandering or yourself for the above. Just focus on your breaths. 

I can't stress enough that it is okay and perfectly natural for your mind to wander, you do not have to judge this, just bring yourself back to focusing on your breathing. 

I don't want to overwhelm you with too much mindfulness to begin with so I'll revisit this and cover other mindfulness techniques between other topics. 

Have a wonderful day! 

Love and peace,

F 

x

Introduction

Hello!

This one is just a quick post to let you guys know what this blog is about, it's mainly for self help purposes for a range of mental health issues such as low mood, mood swings and combating anxiety. 

I aim to post again in the next couple of days to start off with the self help tips, I'll also use examples of situations I myself have used them in and how I've benefited from using these 'skills' 

Take care all and have a wonderful evening. 

Peace out. 

F